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Santa is MtF. I am sure Santa is a she. Think about it. Christmas
is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social affair, and I
have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always
seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and
mood rings left on the shelves.
On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he
were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning
to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the
shopping bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted
and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed,
desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack
would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID still have reindeer, he'd also have the
transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up
there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for
directions.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
Men do not want anyone under 18 to sit on their lap in public.
Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen
with all those elves.
Men don't answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in
jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly."
Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their
ability to pick up women.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact other mythical holiday characters are men:
Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy.
Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.
Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening
test. But not Santa!!!!
De kerstman is ook TS
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